Healing Our Will

How can we begin to heal our will?

We all want to be happy and happiness, believe it or not, is the result of the right use of our will.  Right use of will is what helps us find our right place on this Earth.  Have you noticed you are happy whenever you find your right place?  Have you noticed how unhappy you feel when you discover you are not in your right place?

Our will initiates every aspect of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves.  It resides with its partner, the Witness, in the center of our personal soul and our Transpersonal Soul.  Our will selects, integrates, harmonizes, directs, and inhibits our emotions, thoughts, ideas, reactions, responses, imagination, intuition, desires, senses, images, and physical conditions, movements, and actions. Collectively, our will is now out of control.  Just look at our beloved planet Earth – a manifestation of a collective misuse of will.

Most if not all of us were blessed with strong will energy as a child.  This is true, even if we don’t remember it or if others did not tell us this was so.  What happened to this blessing?  Was our will energy channeled and nurtured or was it distorted and denied?  Who or what disrupted the flow of this energy?   Will and parenting are the two most important influences in our human lives, and yet we know so little about either. We pay an incredible psychological and spiritual price for poor parenting of our will.  Early in life, we start to deny our true feelings and force ourselves to conform – or rebel – or numb out – in order to survive.

When we use our head to try to explain our feelings rather than feel our feelings, we lose touch with how we really feel.  Because our head doesn’t always interpret our feelings correctly, we begin denying how we feel.  When we deny our feelings in order to survive, our will goes into hiding, into the unconscious.  This reduces the amount of available will energy. We become lethargic, dispirited, passive, and unmotivated.  Or, we use distractions to move away from our feelings, especially painful ones, and become busy-busy, addicted, or a gatherer of “things.” We begin to force or control our will because we don’t trust that it will do what we want it to do.

Some may be thinking all of this is depressing and discouraging.  To this I say, “yes, it is if we continue to deny that our will has been in hiding and if we continue to remain uninformed about the nature of our will.”  “No, it isn’t if we wish to heal our will.”

How can we begin to heal our will?

  • Unconditionally accept yourself.  Accept “who I am, what I am, and where I am.”  This acceptance is the first step in healing our will.
  • Give your will space – how desperately our will needs space to breathe!  How do we give it space?  Don’t make a big deal about how unhappy we are with our will.  Soften around it.  Be honest with at least yourself – don’t deny any emotions.
  • Develop a partnership of your healthy personal will with your spiritual will, called Transpersonal Will.  Do not view these as either-or but both-and.  Learn to be in alignment with both.
  • Ask questions when we observe that we are doing what we don’t want to do and we blame our will. What’s not right here? How do I feel when I don’t want to _____? Am I out of alignment with my Spiritual Life Purpose?  Is my personal will out of alignment and thus out of partnership with my Transpersonal Will?

Most of us want to be happy.  We want to experience playfulness, have lots of elbow room, and be in full swing with a meaningful life. To be happy requires that we use our will in a way that allows us to thrive in the spaciousness of the deep and profound desires of our heart.

Copyright © Susan S. Trout, September 2011. All Rights Reserved.

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